Oh Mercy

You replay it over and over again in your head. You think about how many different ways it could have been avoided. You clench your fists and kick yourself repeatedly, but alas, none of that will reverse the damage that has been done.

I backed up into a pole this weekend. I completely did not see it. It was painted the same color as the wall behind it! I won't even go into the details of how stupid it was and how I shouldn't have even been in that place at all (I didn't want to go!)

*sigh*... ... the good news is that there is no obvious dent. Actually, it's a protrusion. Apparently my bumper crushed and collapsed into itself, but then popped back out. Causing hairline stress fractures in the paint and a bump on the top of the bumper. There is some other bits of cosmetic damage but overall, given that I thought I had a dent in my bumper for sure, it is mild. At a glance, most people might not even notice it. But it sticks out to me like a sore thumb. Just like every other imperfection that was befallen my poor vehicle in her tenure under my care. I just am so angry because I was so stupid. How could I not see it? Why was I so careless? One moment that will stay with my car for its lifetime.

Now there isn't a side of my car that doesn't have some damage to it, though only the front and rear bumpers are my fault. (which are plastic, luckily... and I hope if I ever do choose to replace them, won't cost too much.) The one door ding and dent I have on the actual metal of the car appeared without my knowledge of the cause.

I know it's not a big deal, I know it's just a car. I know. But it makes me a little sick. It's just such a *beautiful* car. Well, I guess the important thing, like with us humans, is that it still has its health (engine/transmission). But have mercy, oh car gods. Why do you torment me so?

That mishap with my car was during a trip out this weekend looking for apartments. Yes, I'm most probably moving again. I did find this one place I like a lot. It's expensive, but still cheaper than what I'm paying now. I definately found places much, much cheaper but what can I say, I like the nice things. :)
I haven't acted on it one way or another since my lease isn't up until July but it looks like I'd better prepare for a move in the coming months. So for those that know me, start planning a trip to visit me again in the coming year... and apparently, get used to it because I've been batting 1.000 now for moving each and every year. :)