Life, Liberty...

And the pursuit of power. Well, at least in the electrical sense. On Friday night the power was out in my area for 2 hours. I was literally sitting alone in the dark. (My car was in the garage which opened by an electric motor.) So that was fun.

But the power managed to come back in time for me to attend a poker game that night. I actually got a 4 of a kind that night! (J, in my hand + 3 Jacks on the board.) Yeah, wow. :) I also had another memorable hand where I flopped the nut full house (pair of aces in the hole, A99 flop). So yeah, I had racked up a very large stack of chips.

In spite of all of that, I stand to be very, very poor when August arrives. I've got 2 friends who have bachelor parties in Vegas, car insurance for the year to pay, and then another group of friends just decided to go on a 3 day cruise in July. And that's expensive. I mean, they chose a very expensive time to go on this adventure. But oh well, I'm young now, and while I hate to see my savings get eaten into, what is money for if not to be enjoyed? haha. *sigh*

Life Continues

Life continues to age us. I attended a surprise birthday party for a friend this past weekend (the party was the surprise, not the birthday,) and frankly, *I* was surprised that at our great age people still threw surprise parties. Complete with balloons and cake. But, obviously, they do. The interesting thing was that the look on the surprisee's face was not one of "oh wow, thank you all so much, I'm so surprised and excited!" rather, it was "what the hell are you guys doing here? You all told me you were to busy to hang out with me today. It's my birthday, get out." I'm not kidding about that either, it's captured on video.

Luckily, the night concluded without incident.

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been subject to a surprise birthday party. Then again, I'm not the type that would properly appreciate this kind of thing so it all works out anyway. As I was telling a co-worker, hell, I'm happy enough when someone just tells me "happy birthday" and it actually is my birthday.

From the same department of life and aging, another family member is having a child soon. The amount of pro-creating is getting a little out of hand. At our next family get-together I'm not entirely sure if there will be more diapers or dentures in the room. Still, it is a momentous occasion and a celebration of the miracle of life. It makes me really stop and realize how old I am getting though. These are people I grew up with, played with and horsed around with while the "old people" spent all night talking at the dinner table.

Now they're getting all responsible on me. And I'm finding that more and more, I'm starting to sit at the dinner table for more and more of the night. The last vestiges of my childhood are being ripped away from me before my very eyes and I cannot do anything but protest. I can't even do it openly, I have to be *happy* these people are getting married and having progeny. Sure, they're estatic, but what about me? I'm not ready for this reality yet. I'm still watching TV with a bowl of cereal and staying up late playing games on my Xbox.

I suppose that doesn't necessarily mean that I don't want to meet someone that I fall in love with, make large sacrfices for and make myself more vulnerable to than I've ever been before and with nobody to protect me.
... Of course, I make the last statement in open jest. I am actually quite fond of romantic notions, as evidenced by my collection of romantic comedy and Disney DVD's in juxtaposition with my copies of Bad Boys, Die Hard, Independence Day, etc. What can I say? I'm a sucker and corporations that can manipulate and capitalize on human emotions have me hook, line and sinker.

I can admit that I'm a sap and I'm at peace with it. I love the idea of love and I never lose sight of hope, regardless of my predicaments, because I believe that without hope there can't be anything good in the world. So yes, I cannot and will not resist the pull of life as it ushers me onto the next scene in this comedy that is my life. Who will be there to laugh with me? I do not know. But I am ready, as much as I am not, and in my heart I am happy becuase I know that whatever fortunes or misfortunes life has yet in store for me, the child in me is impervious its effects. Saturday morning cartoons will always be better with a bowl of cereal in hand.

Oh Mercy

You replay it over and over again in your head. You think about how many different ways it could have been avoided. You clench your fists and kick yourself repeatedly, but alas, none of that will reverse the damage that has been done.

I backed up into a pole this weekend. I completely did not see it. It was painted the same color as the wall behind it! I won't even go into the details of how stupid it was and how I shouldn't have even been in that place at all (I didn't want to go!)

*sigh*... ... the good news is that there is no obvious dent. Actually, it's a protrusion. Apparently my bumper crushed and collapsed into itself, but then popped back out. Causing hairline stress fractures in the paint and a bump on the top of the bumper. There is some other bits of cosmetic damage but overall, given that I thought I had a dent in my bumper for sure, it is mild. At a glance, most people might not even notice it. But it sticks out to me like a sore thumb. Just like every other imperfection that was befallen my poor vehicle in her tenure under my care. I just am so angry because I was so stupid. How could I not see it? Why was I so careless? One moment that will stay with my car for its lifetime.

Now there isn't a side of my car that doesn't have some damage to it, though only the front and rear bumpers are my fault. (which are plastic, luckily... and I hope if I ever do choose to replace them, won't cost too much.) The one door ding and dent I have on the actual metal of the car appeared without my knowledge of the cause.

I know it's not a big deal, I know it's just a car. I know. But it makes me a little sick. It's just such a *beautiful* car. Well, I guess the important thing, like with us humans, is that it still has its health (engine/transmission). But have mercy, oh car gods. Why do you torment me so?

That mishap with my car was during a trip out this weekend looking for apartments. Yes, I'm most probably moving again. I did find this one place I like a lot. It's expensive, but still cheaper than what I'm paying now. I definately found places much, much cheaper but what can I say, I like the nice things. :)
I haven't acted on it one way or another since my lease isn't up until July but it looks like I'd better prepare for a move in the coming months. So for those that know me, start planning a trip to visit me again in the coming year... and apparently, get used to it because I've been batting 1.000 now for moving each and every year. :)

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

I'm not sure if it's just me or that I simply notice this but a lot of the times (I'm talking between 15-30% of the time,) when I approach a street light it will turn off. No reason, just... off. I've noticed this for years now and it just keeps happening, no matter where I am. What does this mean? Do I have super powers? Or maybe it's a metaphor of my life - either I am always kept in the dark or I cause darkness wherever I go. Boy that's depressing.

I went and saw Sin City over the weekend. Overall not a bad movie. I did enjoy it. It was quite gratuitious and visceral though. Some parts had me cringing. Add to that almost every character in the movie is a criminal (by our societies' definition,) it's interesting to me that the overriding message from the movie is that even when things are about as selfish, chaotic and corrupt as can be, still love will prevail. And by the grace of that love will be born deeds of selflessness and justice, even though none of those acts are rewarded. If I had to summarize: A glimmer of hope will exist even when in the darkest of holes.

The strange thing about this past weekend was that I was busy the whole time. Usually, (and by usually, I mean, literally everyday,) I am simply by myself at home, finding whatever ways I can to entertain myself. This weekend, starting Friday night, I suddenly get calls and invitations to go out with people that I normally don't see but once every few months. It was just... bizzare. I did enjoy it, though I am used to having a lot more rest on the weekends and going out everyday turns out to be a fairly expensive pastime. Not that I'm complaining, since it was a very nice breath of fresh air, so to speak, to suddenly be spending time with other people instead of my couch and TV.

And finally, my beloved Lakers are now completely decrepit. Kobe is down with a leg injury as if hope wasn't already lost. All I can do is pray for this season to end quickly. I will never abandon this team, but my heart is broken.